Denial is for all intents
and purposes just a word. But this word can define so much
that ultimately affects
our lives. In the simplest
sense, the word means
seeing something as untrue when that might not be the case.
Denial is a defense mechanism outlined by Sigmund Freud
but he did not create the word naturally. He used denial
as way to describe something that we see as untrue because otherwise we might be too
uncomfortable to accept the truth. And this denial occurs even when there is
overwhelming evidence that supports the truth we are trying to deny.
We use this term quite a bit in the addiction arena, and
I know if you are in recovery, you know this term well. Oh how I used this word myself on many occasions. I don’t have a problem, if
everyone would just leave me alone I could quit, everything is fine, I don’t know what you are talking
about, and the list goes on.
The magic behind this denying
of a problem really fascinates me. As someone in recovery, denial hits home,
but it is more than that.
I am a believer or a follower of the ego. Our ego that
keeps our id and super ego in balance. Yes, more Freud. But when I think about our egos, or the thing that is supposed
to keep us on an even keel,
it can really become out of
whack. When the ego gets upset, we use a number of defense mechanisms to help us maintain our presence of mind.
If someone is an addict, their ego is for lack of a
better term, off kilter. If we can deny that we have a problem, it can keep the ego in check.
When I was gambling and using drugs,
my problems were many. But using
the denial defense, kept me in the game. This
is the part that fascinates me. I was using drugs and gambling to the point of
emotional, spiritual, and financial bankruptcy, but my denial was so powerful
that I kept on with these behaviors. Imagine
something so powerful
that it kept me gambling and using drugs. I am in awe of
this defense mechanism.
Despite the obvious
heartache and suffering
I endured, denial kept me in my addictions. I cannot wrap my head
around this but I understand why and how it happens. But enough about me, let’s take a look at a more clinical perspective.
Suffice it to say, denial is powerful. It allows an
addiction to be maintained and even prolonged despite the consequences. Denial
involves behaviors such as dishonesty, pretending a problem does not exist, or
even exaggeration of a problem. Many addicts in denial avoid
people or situations where their addictions might
be confronted.
Despite the consequences experienced by the addict, denial allows the individual addict to continue using
without issue. Denial
can also extend
to other people. A family member
who does not address the addict’s abuse
is also in denial and can perpetuate an addict’s behavior.
An addict’s denial can be complex but the goal is the
same. To deny the existence of a problem so one can continue to use drugs
or alcohol is the
purpose of denial.
An addict might say, just one more time, or I can handle
it, when the opposite is true. Denial will allow the alcoholic or addict an opportunity to drink or use more without
a thought of the consequences and the influence that using has on health or personal lives.
When the addict or alcoholic decides to stop the
addiction, the walls of denial will begin
to crumble. During
treatment, the addict
will begin to look
at the issue of denial and begin accepting the addiction exists and treatment is necessary. Treatment will confront the denial and
expose the reality of an addict’s abuse. Sometimes addicts in recovery can deny
that getting clean and sober can happen or will even help.
Treatment must confront the denial to help the addict or
alcoholic get clean and sober. The opposite of denial is acceptance and
accepting the reality of one’s addiction is a treatment goal.
Denial must be
addressed at all stages of the recovery process.
Denial is a strong mechanism that will always
be there. If a person in
recovery begins to question their ability to stay sober, denial might creep
back in and the individual will begin to think well, my drinking was never
really that bad so I can have one drink. Subsequently, denial can lead a person
to relapse.
Throughout recovery denial
must be addressed. Denial is strong
but with treatment and
support, denial can be lessened and allow for a life of recovery.
Recovery is Possible 